The way I am

There is a dark hole in my live.
Between the age of 10 en 35.

At 10 I became who I am.
And the world didn't see
Only one person cared.
That person was none other than me.

The way I am,
they didn't know it.
The way I am,
Was in the way.
The way I am,
was denied.
The way I am,
was not OK.
The way I am,
was nuisance.
The way I am,
Had no place.
Because in our home
It was all about daddy
AND MY BROTHER.
the headroom basket case.

You can shout out as loud as you will
you might as well be silently praying,
for who we are is shouting out so loud,
we can not hear a word you are saying.

Was this all to make me ready?
Was is all a test?
Was I afraid of nothing
or was I actively repressed
for the way I am.....?????